


Keenly perceptive about Death

by fontainy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26343829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fontainy/pseuds/fontainy
Summary: They only had one chance.As Tony turned around to face Thanos he could almost feel the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. He began walking towards the Mad Titan.On the other side, Steve looked over and saw that Tony was approaching Thanos. Maybe they hadn't been on speaking terms for years, but Steve could read the look on Tony's face as clear as ever. He intended to sacrifice himself again, and he couldn't let it happen.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Keenly perceptive about Death

Tony was looking up at Thanos, a familiar sense of dread filling his body. The sounds of the battle going on around him were almost deafening, and the small sliver of hope he got when the portals opened was being stomped out by Thanos's words. He looked past the battlefield and managed to focus on Strange who was barely holding back the immense mass that was the sea that now threatened to spill over all of them. He looked exhausted, just like everyone on the field. They made eye contact and there was a look of utter grief in Strange's face. Slowly, the noise around Tony began to fade away as the doctor held up one finger.

  
_"How many did you see?" Quill asked_   
_"14,000,605"_   
_"How many did we win?"_

  
Tony struggles to breathe for a second while he remembers Strange's words, which were said to him more than 5 years ago. He remembers the chill that went down his spine when he answered his question.

  
_"One."_

  
Tony understands the look of grief that covered his face now. It mirrored the way Stephen was looking at him now. They had one chance. One chance to defeat Thanos and make sure everyone came home alive. Well, not everyone, he thought.   
His mind was already made up when he stood up one last time. He could do this. He had to do this. Whatever it takes, he had promised. He only wished he could have seen Morgan grow up. Grow old with Pepper and Rhodey and Happy. See the kid's potential filled out. So many lost chances. At least his legacy would be a good one. The world now had the Avengers back, and Steve would be a great leader. He also wished their fight about the Accords never happened. Those years without speaking were probably their undoing back during The Snap. Maybe if they had been on speaking terms and been together as a team when Thanos arrived in Wakanda they could've defeated him. It was too late for maybes now. 

  
They only had one chance. 

  
As he turned around to face Thanos he could almost feel the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. 

  
They only had once chance. He didn't want to die. He had so much to live for now. _I guess the Universe is just cruel. What else is new?_

  
He began walking towards the Mad Titan.

  
On the other side, Steve was watching Carol dueling with Thanos. She clearly had the upper hand but it was also clear Thanos would do anything to win; he wished he could step in and help, but Thanos's punch to the face had left him struggling to breathe and dizzy. As he was standing up he saw how Thanos used one of the stones to send Carol across the battlefield with a punch. This was bad. Carol was one of their strongest cards and if even she got overpowered by a single stone none of them held any chance. Not unless they possessed all fo the stones.

  
Dread filled Steve's gut. He stood up and looked over where he saw that Tony was approaching Thanos. Maybe they hadn't been on speaking terms for years, but Steve could read the look on Tony's face as clear as ever. He intended to sacrifice himself again. Like he had done time and time again before. Like in New York and Sokovia all those years ago. 

  
_"The only thing you really fight for is yourself."_

Tony had a daughter now. He had Pepper. He had Rhodey and Happy, and the Parker kid. He had so many people. People he was fighting for.

  
_"You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."_

Steve regretted those words so much. Time and time again Tony had proved him wrong, had sacrificed so much already. So many times the world had almost lost Tony Stark but he just kept fighting. But Steve knew that if Tony did this, there would be no coming back. Tony Stark would die and the world would lose someone special.

  
Before he could think of anything else he was rushing to Tony's side, right as he was trying to take the gauntlet off of the Titan. He summoned Mjolnir to his hand, still not used to the surge of power that went through him as he held it in his hand. The leather straps from his broken shield held a makeshift tourniquet to keep the huge gash in his arm from bleeding out. In seconds he reached the spot where Tony and Thanos were grappling for control. He noticed how Tony's own gauntlet had begun to take form, ready to take on the six stones. With a swift move, he spun Mjolnir around and managed to hit Thanos's head from behind. He roared, not really in pain, more in anger and utter frustration, but the distraction had worked. Steve held on fast to Tony's body as Thanos sent them flying. They landed not too far away, Steve having taken the brunt of the fall to keep Tony from getting hurt more than he had already. Tony looked down at him surprised as if he hadn't noticed him before. Before he could do something reckless, Steve turned them around and managed to pull off the Iron Man gauntlet from the rest of the already damaged suit, the six stones already in place. It seemed that Tony hadn't used them yet. As he slipped on the gauntlet, the sudden flow of power seemed endless and he felt how they began to eat away at his very core almost immediately. The serum in his bloodstream let him breathe but he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer either way.

  
"Stop!" Tony yelled at him from the ground as Steve stood up. "The Stones will kill you if you use them! The serum won't protect you."

  
Steve held his breath as he turned to face the Mad Titan who was getting ready to snap his fingers, having not yet realized it wouldn't work. He turned halfway to look back at Tony, who was struggling to stand up. 

"And you would have survived?" Steve asked. His breathing was becoming more ragged as the stone's radiation and power overcame his body.

  
Tony froze as he heard Cap speak. He saw on his face the same intentions he had not only a minute ago. 

  
"Don't do this! The world needs Captain America. We all need you!" Tony knew his words held no impact anymore. Steve's mind was made up. Tears began to form at his eyes and he looked down as the familiar feeling of a massive panic attack threatened to take over. Steve couldn't die. This was not how it was supposed to go.

  
"You never needed me, Tony." Steve's words made him look up. There was a small smile on his face. His knees were buckling under the power of the stones. 

  
"And the world will have Captain America again. It just won't be me." Steve turned back to face Thanos, who was beginning to realize the stones were no longer with him.

  
"I'm sorry." Steve said. After a moment in which Thanos now turned to face them, Captain America fell down on his knees, sudden fatigue plaguing his bones. He held his shield and the hammer in one hand and the Iron Man glove in the other. Tony couldn't help but be proud of him. His heart was also breaking, because now he knew no matter what, there was no going back.

  
Steve Rogers snapped his fingers and there was a sudden flash of white light. 

  
When the battlefield came into view again, Steve could see for a moment how every single one of the Outriders began to turn to dust. He saw the look of horror that dawned on Thanos's face as the realization that he had lost hit him. Then, a sudden wave of enormous pain came over Steve's body. He couldn't breathe. But he refused to stand down until he saw with his own two eyes the defeat of their worst nightmare. He could see Tony looking around him, watching how Thanos's army slowly died out, a small smile appearing at the corner of his mouth. 

  
Thanos had accepted his loss. He had a look of utter defeat in his face as he sat down and looked at the battlefield. No smile remained in his face as he too turned to dust. Relief came over Steve's body, but it was quickly replaced with unbearable pain. It was too much. His knees almost gave out but not before he could drag himself to the side, resting on one of the remains of the enemy's ships. The radiation had now spread over his whole body and he could feel the end coming.

  
He heard the sound of mechanical wings being folded and saw Sam and Bucky approach him. Sam clearly looked distraught but Bucky's look of utter anguish and heartbreak almost broke him. Tony and Pepper stood at their side and he could see Thor in the distance walking towards them, a look of long-suffered sorrow in his face.

  
"Why?" asked Tony. He had knelt beside him and was holding on to Pepper for support. Steve shot a weak smile at them. He felt so tired. 

  
"You have so much to live for, Tony." Steve coughed out. "You've made so much out of the life that was given to you. Go live the rest of it in peace. You don't owe the world anything. Raise your kid. Enjoy your life." Tony looked lost for words. 

  
"I really am sorry for-"

  
"You don't need to apologize. We all made mistakes back then." Silence.

  
"You can rest now, Tony." It seemed like his words broke a dam inside his friend's body. Tears streamed down Tony's face as Pepper placed a hand on his shaking shoulder.

  
"Thank you." she whispered with a look of honest gratitude in her face. She was pulling Tony back up, letting him rest against her. "Thank you for letting him come back to us."

  
Steve smiled at her. The edges of the world were beginning to turn dark but he would not allow himself to fade away without saying goodbye to his friends first.

  
"You absolute fucking reckless idiot." Sam's voice came as clear as day. Steve hadn't noticed when he had knelt beside him. He turned to look at him. Bucky was also kneeling in front of him on his right side, but he hadn't said anything yet. He could only look at Steve with heartbreak in his eyes.

  
"Language." 

  
"Shut the fuck up, you moron." Sam answered back, his face holding back a small smile. He sighed and looked down at the ground.

  
"What is the world going to do now, without Captain America?". Sam's voice broke at the end and tears also began to spill over his eyes. 

  
"Steve Rogers will die today," Steve stated. "but Captain America will live to fight another day, Sam. You're a good man. And that is what the world needs right now." he said, recalling Erskine's words. Sam looked back up at him, surprise mingling with his grief. The world would be lucky, having Sam Wilson as Captain America. He had dropped Mjolnir as Thanos had faded away but he still held on fast to the shield. With what seemed to be an enormous amount of effort, he lifted his arm and tried to take the shield off his arm. He's weaker than he thought, though and he can't quite grip the leather straps. Suddenly, a pair of hands are there, taking the shield off from him and placing it in his hands with unfamiliar gentleness. Steve looks up and sees Thor looking at him, tears flowing from his eyes but still with a huge smile in his face.

  
"I always knew you were worthy." he quips.

  
Steve can't seem to find the words so he just nods back at Thor, smiling back at him.

  
"You have a good heart, Thor. Your people need you... King." he said with a playful tone in his voice. Thor just keeps looking at him, a strange look in his eyes, not a trace of a smile in his face anymore. Steve hopes he finds happiness again. He deserves it.  
He hands Sam the broken shield and in a raspy voice says: "If you wanna be a good Captain America, you might wanna get this fixed." 

  
Sam is holding on to the shield so gingerly as if he might break it. He looks back up at Steve and with tears in his eyes he nods, the mantle of Captain America now quietly resting on his shoulders.

  
"You said- you said until the end of the line, you fucking punk." Bucky's voice was small. Steve finally looked at him. His eyes remained dry and they were looking at the side. He was trying to remain strong in front of him, but he could see he was breaking and any moment now it would be over. With what little strength he had left, Steve took Bucky's hand into his own and squeezed. Bucky was now looking at him, and a smile appeared on his face. Steve began to remember all of their moments together and maybe it was the Mind Stone's power or maybe he was just delirious from all the radiation, pain, and exhaustion but he swore their memories began to play out at the same time in both their heads.

  
Their childhood together. When Bucky was there for him at the time of his mother's death. Their awkward attempts at hiding their feelings once Bucky enlisted. The small moments they shared while Bucky took care of Steve's injuries after every back-alley fight. The grief he went through when Bucky went missing and the joy they both felt when they found each other again. More grief as he witnessed how Bucky fell from the train. Confusion and relief when the Winter Soldier looked at him for the first time without a mask on. Confusion and curiosity when he saw his mission looking at him like he was something to marvel at. Uneasiness when Steve found him at his hideout and no time to catch up as the enemy's threat loomed over them. Fear of reverting back to the Winter Soldier. The support of Steve grounding him and his relentless loyalty to him even while having to face his best friend in a ruthless battle warmed and uncovered what he thought was a frozen heart. The look of devotion they traded back and forth while hiding out in Wakanda. The smiles and laughter they shared while Bucky showed Steve around and introduced him to Shuri. How they both felt when she teased them about them being boyfriends and neither one of them having the heart or courage to correct her.

  
Their first kiss. Sitting side by side under the starry sky of Wakanda, spread out over the grass, the sound of nature surrounding them. How incredibly happy and relieved they felt when they confessed their feelings to one another. The promise they made before Steve had to go back undercover. How disappointed Bucky felt when Steve took longer than before to return and the restlessness he experienced when T'challa approached him with a new arm prototype, wanting him to fight by their side. The relief coursing through him when he saw Steve again but disappointment from both of them since they had no time to spend together as the threat of Thanos's army incoming coming closer and closer. 

  
The feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty they both felt while on the Wakandan battlefield, not having their eyes on each other, not knowing whether they were safe or not. Relief from Bucky when he finally saw Steve in the distance, looking around in confusion and Thanos nowhere to be seen. How he called out his name, puzzled because he felt something happening to him, taking his eyes off him to look at his arm and then nothing. Steves's sudden realization that Bucky was gone, along with dozens of his friends and family in battle.

  
Five years of mourning that Steve went trough, blaming himself for not acting sooner, for wasting so much time. When Bruce used the Stones and apparently brought half the universe back. The hope that bloomed in Steve's chest when Clint answered his phone, his wife apparently on the other side. How happiness and hope replaced the resignation he felt as he faced Thanos and his army alone. How, in the middle of the battlefield he'd found Bucky again but couldn't run to him, couldn't embrace him, and kiss him, not until this was all over and they were all safe.

  
Their memories finished playing out and it seemed not a second had passed as they both gasped. Steve's breath rattled as Bucky looked at him one last time. He knew what his last words would be now.

  
"Just because... it's the end of the line pal," he began, the darkness around the world now embracing his view, "...doesn't mean I'm not still with you." Silence surrounded everything around them. The Avengers were all now reunited around Steve Rogers and no one dared say anything. 

  
"I love you." Steve said almost in a whisper. But Bucky heard him. He heard him and his heart broke. But he didn't let it show. He smiled at Steve, letting utter devotion and love show in his face instead.

  
Steve's hand let go of Bucky's. As he drew his last breath he felt more than saw Bucky kissing his forehead. I love you, too, he heard. And with those last words in his mind, Steve Rogers was no more.  
As soon as he heard the last breath of Steve rattle, leaving his body in a shudder just like he used to breathe raggedly all those years ago, Bucky knew it was over and he broke down. With his head hung low he went to grab Steve's hand again, but this time, he didn't squeeze back. Tears spilled down his eyes and he couldn't bear to look back up at him. He wanted to scream at the world for taking his soulmate. He wanted to destroy the Universe for taking away his world. A part of him wished he had died too, only so he could be reunited with Steve once more.

  
The world faded around him and he could sort of make out the sounds of muffled crying, but he paid no attention. His chest ached, his heart ached, his bare soul felt like it was shattering in pieces and he could do nothing. A pair of arms tried to pry him away from Steve's body but he refused, instead closing his eyes and squeezing Steve's hands tighter. Maybe if he held onto him tight enough, life would seep back into him. 

  
Suddenly, he realized that the arms he previously thought were trying to get him away were still on his shoulders. He looked up and through tears, he could barely make out the silhouette of Sam.

  
"I'm so sorry, Buck." he rasped. As Bucky's eyes cleared up a bit after looking up, he noticed how red Sam's eyes were. Grief also colored his face and when he looked around them, dozens of people surrounding them, he saw it in all of their faces too.  
Tony, Pepper, and the kid from Queens were the closest to them. While Pepper and Peter held on to Tony as support, his gaze was stuck on the body next to Bucky. Obvious guilt and a million thoughts appeared to race through his mind, frantically searching for a way to fix the problem, for any way to find a solution, to _cut the wire._

  
Wanda was standing behind them, a hand on her mouth as she let out quiet sobs. Bucky's heart ached for her too. He remembers how Steve had told him about this wonderful young girl with abilities that had lost too much in so little time and still managed to remain a kind and strong-willed person. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain she must have been going through right now, having lost both Vision and Steve in the span of a few hours.

  
He could spot T'Challa, the Queen, and Shuri off to the side. T'Challa looked devastated and when Shuri's eyes met his, she tried conveying how sorry she truly was to him. He tried to give back half a smile but he couldn't. 

  
His chest still ached but no new tears appeared in his face.

  
"Bucky?" Sam asked beside him. 

  
"It's ok. We said goodbye." Bucky finally answered. "That's all I ever needed." 

  
Tony began to walk towards them, the Iron Suit making a whirring noise as the damage it had taken forced it to accommodate. "We should probably bury him. Can you help with-"

  
"I got it." Bucky interrupted, no malice in his voice. "It's not a big deal, I can carry him."

  
Everyone remained silent as Bucky stood up, his stance rigid. He suddenly felt like the 100-year-old man he was as he bent down to pick up Steve. His arms under the back of his knees and supporting his head and back, Bucky lifted Steve's body from the ground. It still hadn't gone cold and Bucky's mind provided him with the fact that it wouldn't get cold until about eight to ten hours from now, probably more because of the serum, but he quickly pushed the thought away, instead focusing on how the weight of Steve grounded him. 

  
He was suddenly a kid from Brooklyn again, carrying Steve back to his house because the idiot hadn't been looking where he walked and accidentally tripped on his own feet, managing to hurt both his ankle and his left arm.

  
_"I said I'm fine, Buck! You don't need to carry me all the way back, I can walk." Steve's voice was surprisingly pitched and he could tell despite squirming around, he was relieved he didn't have to walk with an injured limb._

  
_Bucky chuckled lightly as he carefully navigated through the lonely streets, grateful he chose this path as it was the least populated one and the chances of them being seen were lower._

_"No way, punk. You can barely walk on your own without getting winded, you think I'm gonna let you do it with a broken foot?" Bucky rearranged his grip on Steve's legs, careful not no jostle him too much, in case he made the injury worse._

  
_"It's not broken. I mean, it totally feels like it is, but- but it's probably just fine." Steve's voice went quiet at the end and Bucky looked down at him. He frowned as a light pinkish tone covered his cheeks. He hoped he wasn't coming down with anything nasty, as he usually managed to get sick about eleven months out of the whole year. It was probably from the adrenaline from the fall._

  
_"What are you staring at?" He hadn't realized Steve had caught him looking and when he looked up at his eyes, he could tell he was teasing. Bucky's heart began racing but he chalked it up to the fact he was carrying another person in his arms. Which made no actual sense since he weighed like 90 pounds._

  
_"Just wondering how the hell you managed to trip on nothing."_

  
_"Shut up." Steve said, laughing. Bucky chuckled too, and the air felt light around them as they made their way back home._

\-----------------------------------------------

"Are you going to be fine?" Sam asked him.

  
Bucky was sitting on the bench overlooking the lake. They were in Stark's lake house. He'd let them borrow it for Steve's service. Dozens of people had shown up and for once, Bucky tried to forget why they were all here and decided to focus on them. He tried making conversation with every single one and knew Steve would be proud of him "making new friends" as he so jokingly put it back when they hung out in Wakanda.  
He knew his relationship with Stark would never be perfect, but at least there was a hint of hope in the future. It appeared when Tony looked on as Morgan tried placing a Captain America shield magnet on Bucky's arm and was disappointed when she couldn't reach. Bucky looked down in surprise, amazed she'd managed to sneak up on him. He realized what she was trying to do and he suppressed a smile. He'd never been good with kids.

  
He leaned down and held out his arm, hoping she wouldn't be scared of him, and was reassured by the kid's giggles. She quickly placed it on his arm and looked on proudly.

  
"You better take care of that magnet, it's one of my daddy's favorite ones." she chided in. Tony suddenly sputtered behind them, objecting to the fact that grown men owned magnets for their grown-up refrigerators and that it was merely random that the magnet he had gotten from a cereal box ended up on his fridge, holding a picture of his family onto it, and that he can do whatever he likes with his magnet he's a grown man, _thank you very much_. Pepper and Morgan looked at him with mirrored faces of both exasperation and fondness.

  
He'd never been good with kids, but this one wasn't so bad.

  
He talked to Wanda, checked in with her to see how she was holding up. She looked like shit, honestly, but he could tell she was putting on a brave face for the others. He hugged her tightly before she left and made her promise to keep in contact. He wasn't so sure she would as he watched her leave, Sam by his side. They could tell something was wrong, but there was nothing they could do at the moment.

  
He talked briefly with Thor and found him to be surprisingly clever and funny despite his initial appearance. His face too was laced with grief and mourning and when the raccoon that tried to steal his arm (Which. What?) told him in private of what had happened to him, Bucky was still surprised that Thor was still standing here, making jokes and making sure everyone around him didn't falter for too long. The way the air felt electric around him and the fact he was the literal God of Thunder made Bucky a little uncomfortable, though, so he decided to keep himself on the god's good side in the future.

  
He talked with the brat he fought at the airport all those years ago and found him to be even more annoying but still managed to make him laugh and it made him surprisingly fond as no resentment or anger were to be found in his face, despite previous altercations. He joked around with Shuri and made a mental note not to let either her or Peter hang out or else everyone in the surrounding area would suffer. He talked with the wizard that apparently made their transport possible and asked him if there was any way of bringing him back trough the Time Stone. He tried not to feel too bad when he shook his head, but the fact still tugged at his heart, one last chance gone. 

  
He made sure to check in with everyone, the way Steve would've done, and found it exhausting.

  
"I don't want to talk to anyone else for at least a week." Bucky groaned. Sam chuckled beside him and went to sit on the bench, too.

  
"Being a leader is no easy work." Sam said 

  
"That's why you're the Captain now and not me. I would royally fuck it up on the first day, probably."

  
"Probably." 

  
"Hey!" Bucky protested. He knew Sam was teasing, though, a small smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.

  
"But-" Sam began, in a more serious tone, "-that doesn't mean you wouldn't be a great leader. Yes, you make mistakes, but I think you've got great promise." Sam was now looking at him directly. Unused to talking with Sam for a prolonged period of time without throwing insults at each other or making jokes, Bucky looked away, tired of the eye contact.

  
"Maybe." A spark of hope for his future bloomed in his chest. The loss of Steve and what they could've been weighed heavily on him. But if Sam remained by his side, maybe, maybe one day he could find himself getting through it.

  
"Plus!" Sam began, with a lighter tone lightly smacking his arm. "There has to be someone beside me helping me train with the kid's team." Bucky looked back at him, alarmed. He took back what he thought, Sam was a terrible person.

  
"No." Bucky said in a defeated voice. "You wouldn't."

  
"Oh, don't think I didn't see you with the Iron kid. I think you'd be great with kids. Just imagine handling the training of Shuri and that annoying spider kid." Sam was grinning with malice.

  
"I hate you."

  
"Love you too, darling."

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I didn't make you cry too much, lmao. I've had this in my drafts for a long time, but I've just now finished it and beta'd it so yay for my year long procrastination I guess. Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment on ur way out pls it keeps me from crying.


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